What to watch out for

LawCare tells us in this article how to identify and become aware of unhelpful thinking styles, which can help you challenge or distance yourself from those thoughts and see your situation in a different or more helpful way.

• All or nothing: Sometimes called black and white thinking, this is believing that something or someone can only be good or bad, or everything has to be perfect, and if it isn’t then you’ve failed; rather that anything in between.
• Mental filter: Only paying attention to certain types of evidence, for example ignoring the times you have been praised in favour of times you’ve been criticised, or focusing on your failures rather than your achievements.
• Jumping to conclusions: assuming you know what others are thinking, or that you know what the outcome of a situation will be - none of us can predict the future.
• Emotional reasoning: feeling a certain way makes it true - for example just because you think ‘my boss hates me’ doesn’t mean he/she does. Feelings are just a reaction to thoughts.
• Labelling: Assigning unhelpful, judgemental labels to yourself or others such as ‘weak’ or ‘stupid’.
• Over-generalising: Seeing a pattern based on a single event - for example having a difficult meeting with a client and then assuming future interactions will be similar.
• Disqualifying the positive: Discounting the good things that have happened to you as if they were a one-off or a fluke.
• Catastrophising/minimisation: blowing things out of proportion and believing the worst possible thing will happen or shrinking something to make it seem less important.
• ‘Should’s and ‘must’s: thinking or saying  ‘I should’ and ‘I must’ puts pressure on ourselves and sets up unrealistic expectations.
• Personalisation: taking responsibility or taking the blame for something that wasn’t your fault.

Tips for improvement

Focus on the here and now - what is actually happening in this moment. Is there another perspective?

• Talk to people about your feelings – ask them for feedback.
• Keep a list or folder of your achievements and look at it when you need to.
• Talk to yourself as you would to a friend.
• Distract yourself from your thoughts - read a book, take some exercise, see a friend, do something you enjoy.

If you need to talk, call the LawCare helpline on 1800 991 801 or visit the Irish LawCare website.