'Safe and happy' obligation
Judge Waters heard how the father was working fewer hours due to COVID-19 and was now using up his savings. He was willing to pay €100 per week maintenance for both his children. The mother had not worked since last year.
At one point, the mother wept as she listened to details of how she struggled to pay for after-school help for one of her children because she was unable to help out with homework.
Addressing both parents, Judge Waters urged them to never argue or say anything nasty about each other in front of the children.
Referring generally to child access for estranged parents, Judge Waters said: “The law is very clear. A child is entitled to have a relationship with both parents. Anyone who interferes with that right will have serious questions to answer in court.
“Even though your relationship has broken down, you’re obliged to provide a safe and happy environment for your children.
“Any parent who interferes with a child’s right will have serious issues to deal with before me in court.
“And if somebody breaks a court order, I have the powers to imprison them,” Judge Waters said.
Child's right to see father
The family court heard how the father currently had access to his children on Saturdays and Sundays. When asked by Judge Waters why the children were not staying overnight with their father, he was told it was because one of the children, the girl, had witnessed an assault on the mother.
The boy, the court heard, was in the process of a diagnosis and the father was not able to cope with him. The father’s solicitor denied these claims, and said that the father was always very ‘hands-on’ and regularly put his children to bed.
Judge Waters said: “It is a child’s right to see their father. It is not the father’s right, even though he has a constitutional right in the context of the family.
“Access will eventually be built up here to every second weekend, and midweek also, but we have to work up to that point.”
Speaking directly to both parents, Judge Waters said: “You’re newly separated. You have a legal responsibility to promote a safe and happy environment for your children.
“The experts tell us that the last thing that upsets kids is their parents living apart. The most upsetting thing is when they see parents fighting over something, and it’s nasty. You have an obligation to protect children from that.”
The media are allowed to report from family-law courts, but the Courts and Civil Law (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 2013 prohibits the identification of any child or party in a family-law case.
Child expenses ‘first priority’
Judge David Waters told the estranged parents at the hearing in Tralee that they had managed to live frugally and save while they were together – and now he wanted them to do the same living apart.
He said: “I’ve no doubt both of you spend every last penny you have on your children. That’s the attitude of most parents.”
But he insisted that, apart from rent, a child’s expenses were the priority. Broadband, phone, TV, and every other outgoing ranked after children.
After assessing both parents’ income, he ordered the father to pay €100 per week – €50 for each child. Once-off or additional dental, medical or educational expenses are to be shared equally.
The couple are back in court before Judge Waters in one month, when he will review progress on how his orders are working.
Build up child access ‘as a treat’
Judge Waters explained, in practical terms, how he wants estranged parents to manage access by each other to children.
During the family-law case at Tralee Courthouse, he told the separated couple: “You need to build up access as a treat. If you give negative signals over access, the child then won’t have the permission to enjoy time with their other parent.
“And when access to the other parent comes to an end, the parent must say nice things about the other and build up the child’s return to that parent as something they look forward to.
“If you don’t do this and the kids have difficulties in the future, you have nobody but you to blame.
“If you have a dispute, conduct it through your solicitor. Please, do not do it in front of the kids.”
At the end of the case, Judge Waters told the estranged parents: “There is a long road on this. You have to learn to co-parent while you are apart. The sooner you do that, the happier everyone will be, most of all your children.”